September 18, 2002

Angel of Death

By Señor ©2002

Death was lurking last night. No bullshit. For the first time in my life I truly felt that I was going to die. I believed that I would go to sleep and never wake up. I've recently been studying the ancient Tibetan healing art, known today as Reiki. As part of my study's I have received many "attunements." Amongst other things these attunements are supposed to open and expand intuition and psychic abilities. Last night had the distance smell of death. However, I did not need any psychic ability to get this premonition. I had an awful pain in my throat. Not a sore throat, mind you, I pain I had never experienced before. Every time I took a breath I felt as though I was being strangled.

It all started Friday morning as a slight pain and minor annoyance. By last night the pain was excruciating and other side effects has materialized. A vicious headache and constant numbness in my hands and feet now burdened me as well. I've never had such symptoms. I vowed to check myself into the hospital the next morning...if I made it through the night. What does one do when expecting to death to be a mere few hours away? My friend Noi came over for a Reiki healing session. As she had given me a free Thai massage every night that week I was not about to disappoint her, death or no death! After an hour session I had time for reflection. I am a true believer in fate. As such I did not fear death's eminence. If it were meant to be it would be. I've had a basically happy life. I've experienced many things and have been blessed with lots of love. If death was waiting for me, I was ready to go. I thought about calling my loved ones, but that would just cause worry. I resided to write one last journal entry. My message to the world if you will, before crossing over to the other side! I discovered that I did not have many pearls of wisdom to share. I wished for love, health and happiness for my loved ones. Not much else came to me and I choose not to force anything.

Guess what? I awoke! 6:30AM in the morning I was up. Death had not come. However, I felt no jubilation as a matter of fact I was in even worse pain than the night before. Straight to the hospital I went. On the drive over my biggest fear was that they were not gonna understand me and prescribe antibiotics for step throat. I underestimated our fine Thai physician, he knew exactly what the problem was.

"Mr. Señor, not a thing is wrong with you." He let me know. Of course! I should have known! I began to get a little angry and a little depressed, but then things got interesting. The Doctor then correctly told me that I must be taking Larium, an anti malaria drug. Larium has hallucinogenic side effects. Basically my body is having a hallucination that I am having trouble breathing and that my limbs keep going numb. In actuality none of this is happening! He told me to immediately stop taking Larium. Within two weeks it will be totally out of my system and I will feel normal again.

What a wild concept! A body hallucination. Why not? I've had audio hallucinations in the past and I've certainly had some wild visual hallucinations so now it is time for my body to trip. Imagine the possibilities if I could control the hallucination, bottle it and market it! Picture this; you are in the midst of the biggest business meeting of your life with your boss and the board of directors. It is your turn to make a presentation but you are way to stressed to speak, much less in an effective manner. No worries mate! Take my pill and your body will hallucinate that you just had a mind blowing orgasm. Your stress has been released, you've calmed down considerably and now you are ready to blow them away!

Perhaps I'm getting a little carried away here, but keep in mind I am a man living on borrowed time! Not only didn't I die, I've become all the wiser for it! If just goes to show you that we live in one funky world. Next time you feel a pain in your throat or a migraine headache, think for a moment. Is it really happening or is your body just hallucinating?

Deep thoughts from Señor!

Señor is Reiki Master from Samui, Thailand.

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