Dining with a Celebrity

By Sean A. Donahue © 2006

This afternoon I went to go see an old College "roommate" at Denny's. Now the quotes around roommate were for reasons other than the obvious.

You see KristiE and I were good friends, we had become friends in classes and in hall council and when I left the dorms we would still talk. I wanted to get cable so bad, but at that time I was watching my money so I didn't have to borrow any from my parents to live.

So KristiE came up with the idea of sharing cable. We ordered cable for my house and split the cost. She'd come over to watch Quantum Leap among other shows and she had a key to my apartment. Many days I'd come home from classes to see KristiE crashed out on my futon watching some sappy movie. It was a weird yet wonderful relationship.

Years later we both moved on, me with my soon-to-be wife, now ex-wife, her to other things.

Yet recently we just found each other again. We hooked up on e-mail and I told her to call me sometime.

She called while I was driving the kids to Ft. Worth to see my mom. We had a great conversation and decided to get together for lunch.

I always like finding old friends. The only key is will the friendship that we had still strong enough to last through my divorce and her marriage? Obviously it was because we got together at Denny's for a quick lunch. She told me about her divorce. We shared war stories and stories of friends in the past.

But now here is the deeper story.

I love Lubbock. It's small enough that if you do great things you are recognized and yet big enough you can hide out in...

Unless you're at the Denny's at 2:30 on a Sunday, which must have been the meeting of the Sean Dillon Fan Club.

I walked in with my sunglasses and got a table.

"It's him," a woman said.

"No it can't be him, why'd he come to Denny's?" another woman said.

"Excuse me sir, you wouldn't be Sean Dillon would you?"

"Yes, it's very nice to meet you," I said, smiling. In a way I am glad that I was recognized and then in a way it made me very self-conscious. Did I dress the way they thought I would dress? Was I polite enough?

I gave the first woman who recognized me a Rock 101 T-Shirt and watched while laughing to myself at the waitresses who were fighting to serve the "celebrity."

Hell, I put my pants on the same way as other men; just have a little radio show.

So KristiE got there and was amazed how I was being treated.

"It's like dining with a celebrity," she said.

"Minor celebrity," I corrected.

So we talked, ordered and ate. I told the waitress I wasn't in any hurry to order.

Both KristiE and I ordered at the same time.

But my order was delivered first.

I waited until KristiE’s order had come and was trying not to laugh as KristiE smirked, "You get your food first, I see how it is when you dine with a celebrity," she said.

We then had to endure the worst dressed woman in the world.

Now, I understand eating disorders and people with metabolism problems, but this one woman eating had to be at least 350 with gusts to 400 lbs. She walked by and dropped a piece of paper. Now it was bad enough that her shirt didn't cover her belly, but it was a little nauseating when I saw the bright yellow thong that glowed as she bent over. I don't mind women who are big; I just have a problem with women who dress inappropriately.

Just ask KristiE about the man who came up to her wearing nothing but spandex pants and she could "just about see the vein."

"If I ever dress that way or get that big you have permission to slap me," KristiE laughed as she saw the look of horror on my face.

If it wasn't right in front of me I could have ignored it. But there was a partial moon at Denny's this afternoon and I had to wash my face and look at a picture of Jessica Biel to purge the spectacle that I'd had to endure.

It was great to see KristiE and we promised to get together more often. But while I was being served like a prince, KristiE was being ignored.

KristiE was talking to the cook and joking that she wanted Rum and Coke instead of just a coke to drink since the waitress didn't check to see if she wanted anything else to drink.

"You'd get your food first," the cook said pointing at me. "Her's would have never come if I had Rum in the kitchen."

I tried not to laugh.

"That's what I get for dining with a celebrity," KristiE said.

It's just another case of Instant Comedy: Just add Sean (scratch that). Just Add Minor Celebrity.

Sean A. Donahue is a freelance writer, radio personality and poker amateur. He is the author of Instant Tragedy a website looking a life, liberty, and the ability to have Instant Tragedy when you just add water. He is divorced with two children and lives in Lubbock Texas.