The Debt I Should Have Never Paid

By Sean A. Donahue © 2006

I can remember the day I fell in love with my ex-wife. It was like it was yesterday. We had talked and talked over and over again on who would make the long trip to see the other one, me from Lubbock or her from Indiana. I decided to make the first trip. There was a writers' convention in Indianapolis so if for some reason she flaked out on me I could go spend time on that.

I had to book one of those, "I can't believe I am paying this much just to go to Indiana" fares from Northwest and spent way too much to get the ticket. Angie's father sent me a sawbone to help pickup the travel expenses. I should have stayed stubborn and true to my word and paid for the damn thing myself, but I allowed her dad to "make me feel more comfortable." Looking back on that I should have stayed clear.

I traveled to Dallas for my first stop and then changed over to a plane for Detroit. Boy, nothing says class then showing up and being one of 22 people on the plane at 7:14 in the morning.

I got on and sat in my comfortable coach seat. I didn't know what to think. I was meeting someone that I had talked to over and over again. I knew everything about her. But we had never met face to face. The danger signs were all there. It was a new society and I was trusting my friend Chrystal that Angie was the one for me, to go and "jump off the deep end." The stewardesses were more than happy to offer me all the food that was ordered for the trip, no one upgraded to first class and they just served all of us in coach like we were stars.

Alas, food went away after 9/11. But I digress.

I told the stewardesses my story, after prodding and poking.

"OH my, going to see her and talk to her parents. HOW ROMANTIC!" said one stewie.

"Aren't you getting nervous?" said another. "I mean you have been set up by a friend and god knows what I would do if I wanted to set someone up with someone that was ugly or a bitch to me even if I was the least bit angry. Are you sure you didn't piss your friend off?"

My stomach jumped.

What was I doing? I was meeting a good friend of a friend in the middle of Indiana. Where was my brain?

But I had talked to her for months on end, my phone bills were eating me alive. It was a test of either shit and date her or get off the pot and look for someone else.

But my confidence was not with looking. I had never wanted, needed or liked looking. I hated rejection too much.

The plane landed and I immediately went to the bathroom to clean up. My stomach was turning over and over and over.

I went to wash my face and get the Stewardesses voice out of my head. "Are you nuts? Meeting her and then going to meet her parents?"

I opened the bathroom door looked at my face in the mirror and immediately threw up.

All the first class food, came up, everything came up. I was dry heaving for two minutes.

"Look at what you did Joann! Bitch!" said Cindy , the nice stewie.

I was the last person off the plane.

I wasn't wearing what I told Angie I would be wearing cause I had to change after throwing up everywhere and gargling with Listerine for a minute.

"You son of a bitch!" Angie said after she slapped me "I thought you lied to me and didn't come!"

"No I was so nervous about holding you in my arms I got sick in the plane" I said.

"YOU DID?" she said.

Then we kissed, and the stewardesses clapped and smiled. But I heard none of it for I was thinking of two things.

1. I love this woman.
2. Did I leave my wallet on the plane?

I paid her dad the $100 I owed him when he gave her away. Some people think it was a bargain. I will be paying for it for a long time. However, looking back at it, and looking back at the years even after my divorce from Angela. I still remember that kiss.

Sean A. Donahue is a freelance writer, radio personality and poker amateur. He plans to move to the semi-pros with stops in Topeka and Albuquerque some day. He has been published in For Kids Sake Magazine, Sunlight through the Shadows and is the author of Instant Tragedy a website looking a life, liberty, and the ability to have Instant Tragedy when you just add water. He is divorced with two children and lives in Lubbock Texas.